A TRUE Wilderness story . . . by a dear personal friend . . .
Two weeks after I married my husband, I found out he was gay. I did not come from a home I wanted to move back into, and because I was raised believing divorce was a sin, I stayed. At the time, I lived in a new city with very few friends, and the church we attended was mostly my husband’s family. I did have a deep love for God, but my understanding of His relationship with me consisted mostly on my ability to be good.
I could detail the depth of all the betrayal as I endured news about my husband’s lovers, the church’s response to us, his family’s response, and my family’s response; however, the bottom line is that I was alone.
I remember clearly a conversation I had with God one evening when I told Him, “I love you very much but I don’t know what to do with this pain.” For the first time in my life I walked into a life of willful sin. Hebrews 11:25 tells us that there is pleasure in sin for a season. When that season ends you find such emptiness and despair that you lose yourself trying to recapture that fleeting relief of pleasure. I was living with the consequences of my own sinful choices.
One night I came home from a night out and was overwhelmed by the emptiness in my life. As I laid there in the dark, God’s presence came into that room and love swept over my heart in the most profound way. I experience His grace for the first time. God gave the best He had for the worst in me. I decided I would never again base my relationship with God on anything but Him and His love for me. What a revolution that started in my life! I still am being changed by the truth of it.
My husband and I were married for 15 years and we have 2 children. We have since divorced and moved on to new chapters in our lives, but what I learned about God’s commitment to me, to my ex-husband, and our children is really found in the depths of Romans 8. It is all about God’s goodness. God has gone to great lengths to call us, keep us, redeem us. I can trust Him when I can’t even trust myself. God is my redeemer and the lifter of my head.
And a recent Facebook message I received from my dear friend . . .
Tonight was the first bible study with me leading One in a Million. Wow was it great. Please
forward a Thank You to Priscilla for me. My husband and I sat with my brother and his wife tonight and talked after the video about session one. I don’t even know how to tell you about my brother and the amount of sorrow he has lived through and put others through. I have even learned things since I have been here that I did not know. Tonight God used that study to reach in deeply into his heart and also into his wife’s broken heart and start a move of the Holy Spirit. He is telling his friends that he is in Bible study! I can’t even explain all that God is doing. Thanks to Priscilla for her giftedness. Mostly thanks to God for all of it.
So, I sit here and know that God is good, all the time. I’m so thankful for His Word, His promises, and His people that He uses, like Priscilla Shirer, and my dear friend JoBeth!