Update // Congratulations to our winner for this giveaway, Madelyn R.!
There’s busy, and then there’s BUSY.
Everyone assumes they have a lot going on until they eventually meet someone else who puts their calendar and to-do list to shame. It’s in those moments, when you do meet someone who clearly has more going on than you do, when you suddenly feel like there’s a little bit more margin in your day. That perhaps you aren’t as swamped as you originally thought. That maybe you can actually spare a few minutes.
So in the midst of everything demanding your time and attention right now, consider for a moment the busyness of the apostle Paul. Here was a man who wrote the bulk of the New Testament, traveled across the known world, kept in contact with his church-planting efforts, and even had time for a shipwreck and a snakebite or two. But in the midst of all that good and kingdom-building activity, he still had time for one more person.
Paul knew the immeasurable value of investing his life not just in the crowds, but in the singular human being. One of the most touching accounts we have of that is his fatherly relationship with a young pastor named Timothy.
Timothy was from the city of Lystra, the son of a Greek father and Jewish mother who had become a Christian. Paul met him during his second missionary journey, and he became the apostle’s traveling companion. They were so close that Timothy was listed, along with Paul, in the greetings of 2 Corinthians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 Thessalonians, 2 Thessalonians, and Philemon. Timothy was Paul’s son in the faith, and Paul was his mentor in the faith.
Maybe at that last sentence, there’s something inside you that swells a little bit. Because you know that some time, maybe a long time ago, there was someone who was a father or mother to you. You might not have been related by birth, but that person saw you, as a spiritual infant, and took you in. You learned how to study the Bible, pray, and relate to God because of them. Even though the world might not ever know that person’s name, you will never forget it, because one of the main reasons you love and pursue Jesus is because of their influence on you.
These are powerful relationships, ones in which the faith and the practices of godliness are passed on from generation to generation. It was that way with Paul. It was probably that way with you.
So how, then, do we form this kind of relationship? Here are five keys to a successful mentoring relationship:
1. Availability.
As simple as it sounds, one of the main keys to a mentoring relationship is simply choosing it’s worth having one. Of course, that’s going to mean some rearrangement and trading of priorities. But if this is one of the ways a deep and abiding faith is passed from generation to generation, then we should be willing to free up time in our schedules to do so.
2. Authenticity.
Relationships like these don’t work if it’s all give and no take. Neither do they work if the relationship is all based on transfer of intellectual knowledge. Mentoring relationships aren’t about education; they’re about transformation. They’re about seeing the life of Jesus formed in another, and playing an active role in that. To see that happen, both the father and the son, the mother and the daughter, have to be willing to share, pray, weep, and rejoice with each other about real life.
3. Regularity.
Relationships like this don’t work without intentionality, particularly in terms of meeting together. You might have the best of intentions, but unless there is a regular appointment on the calendar, you will always find a reason to postpone or cancel. But don’t make the mistake of thinking that meeting has to happen every week; it doesn’t. It’s far better to set a schedule you know both of you can keep to than to set yourself up for failure from the beginning with an unrealistic set of expectations.
4. Teachability.
One of the most common things you will hear from people in relationships like these is that they are mutually beneficial. While a mentor and a mentee might both begin thinking that the relationship is all for the benefit of the second, inevitably they will both be taught by each other and grow in the faith. Recognizing that you are both learners, both in process, and both in need of grace from God and each other from the beginning sets you up to hear from the Lord through each other, and then to help each other follow Him.
5. Resourcing.
It’s helpful, especially in the beginning of these relationships, to have a resource to fall back on. That way you know in every meeting there will always be something worthwhile to talk about, and your meeting doesn’t divert to simply hanging out or sharing a meal. To facilitate the conversation, we’d suggest Disciples Path. This is a series of simple resources that will help you to engage in these relationships and intentionally grow as disciples.
There’s no doubt you’re busy. Everyone is. The question is not whether you’re busy, it’s what you’re willing to make time for. Surely the passing on of the faith to the next generation is worth it.
Today we’re giving away a mentoring prize pack! One winner will receive the following:
1 $25 Starbucks Gift Card
2 Sets of 2 Timothy Scripture Memory Cards (from Entrusted by Beth Moore)
2 Copies of Disciple’s Path: The Beginning
To enter to win, simply fill out the form below.
By entering today’s giveaway, you acknowledge Lifeway Christian Resources’ official promotion rules. Today’s giveaway starts at the posting time of this blog and ends Monday (10/03/2016) at noon (12:00 pm) CST. You must be 18 to enter, and you may only enter once. The winner will be selected at random. Only participants who live in the United States or Canada are eligible to win. For questions about the rules and regulations of this giveaway, please contact Heather Warfield at One Lifeway Plaza, Nashville, TN 37234-140.
What about you? Have you had a mentoring relationship, either as a mentor or as a mentee? How has the relationship changed you? We want to hear from you, so leave a comment below!
Michael Kelley lives in Nashville, Tenn., with his wife, Jana, and three children: Joshua, Andi, and Christian. With a passion for the local church, Kelley serves as the Director of Discipleship for Lifeway Christian Resources, in addition to being an author and speaker. As a communicator, Michael speaks across the country at churches, conferences, and retreats and is the author of three Bible studies and the book, Wednesdays Were Pretty Normal: A Boy, Cancer, and God.
