We’ve all experienced the feelings and thoughts of loneliness. Why do I feel invisible? Does anyone actually know me or care?
Unfortunately, the church can be a lonely place for women in any season of life. But this problem doesn’t have to remain that way any longer. Imagine a church body where one out of every three people is growing spiritually through a one-on-one mentoring relationship.
Those numbers are not only doable but actually within reach of every church. For the past three decades, I’ve invested my life into mentoring millennials (those born between 1980-2000). My passion for mentoring is a relentless, intentional decision to pass on my faith to the next generation, as my mentors continue to do for me. Millennials long to be known and be in relationship with others. The millennial women I mentor on a weekly basis are seeking answers to their questions: Where is God when I’m exhausted? Can God help me get past my guilt? Does God love others more than me? How can I hope in God when I feel hopeless?
From the pulpit, this generation is told they need a personal relationship with God, yet they struggle to find fellow church-goers interested in spending time with them. Mentoring is the practical solution.
Why is a mentoring relationship critical for our churches today? What’s so important about reaching the millennial generation?
- Half of America’s workforce and three-quarters of the global workforce will consist of millennials by 20201
- 74% of millennials desire a one-on-one connection2
- 74% of millennials prefer teamwork and being involved in small groups3
- 59% of millennials stopped attending church after graduating high school4
How can the church connect with the 41% of millennials who attend church services?
All generations long to be heard and known by name. Yet, many women from the silent and baby boomer generations report feeling forgotten, invisible, left out, and overlooked. Similarly, millennials feel alone, disconnected, empty, and misunderstood. Matching members of your women’s ministry with millennials is a win-win solution, bridging the generation gap for church-goers of all ages and seasons. Establishing a Mentoring Connection Ministry provides a renewed and fresh passion to live a vibrant life for Christ.
Mentoring is not…
- a program to grow church attendance
- a box to check off on a church to-do list
- only for those with a seminary degree
Mentoring is…
- relationship between two people
- a bridge between generations
- a tool for spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical growth
Prepare a team of mentors, invite the next generation into mentoring relationships, and mentees will come forward. Every time.
The mentor…
- is an authentic Christ follower and growing spiritually
- is a good listener
- shares what God has done in her life
- comes alongside the next generation to guide and encourage
- follows God’s agenda
- sets her own agenda aside
- is approachable
- is willing to discuss any topic or situation
The mentee…
- is eager to know God in a deeper way
- wants to grow spiritually
- is approachable about any topic or situation
- is willing to be vulnerable
- is open to stepping out of her comfort zone
- desires to learn more about Scripture
- seeks to apply God’s Word to her daily life
Mentoring can happen in a variety of ways. I have experienced 100% success with this model.
Where to meet:
- At the church to fit easily into Sunday schedules
- Coffee shops
- Order and pick-up restaurants (no waiting, servers, or interruptions)
- While walking in a park or neighborhood
When and how long to meet:
- Weekly for the first three months
- Every other week after the first 12 weekly meetings
- One hour or less for each session
- Respectful of one another’s schedule, arrive and end on time
Multiply
- Mentoring is a relationship, not a to-do list
- Jesus is our role model for relationships, as He invested His life in others
- Mentoring is an ongoing commitment
- Mentors help mentees grow into becoming a new mentor (as the mentee begins sessions with another person, the mentor does also)
- Continue to care for each other through prayer, availability, and communication
The goal of mentorship is to help mentees become confident in Christ, passing our faith to others as God instructs us in Psalm 78:1-8 and Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.
The most important element to a Mentoring Relationship Connection Ministry is prayer.
- Prayer Team: Begin with a prayer team of three or four women dedicated to covering the leader and participants in the mentoring process. The prayer team members are not mentors.
- Leadership: Each person in leadership must spend time in prayer and waiting on the Lord. Seek God and hear His voice with clarity for all mentoring connections.
- Mentors: Mentors begin and end their one-on-one sessions with prayer. Invite the Holy Spirit into each meeting.
Women long for authentic, face-to-face conversations. We are created for community, to form relationships and do life side by side. A Mentoring Relationship Connections Ministry equips women in the church to effectively pass the baton of faith, connection, and belonging from one generation to the next.
Jayme Hull is a speaker, author, host of Face To Face Mentoring Podcast and a Spiritual Leadership Coach with Blackaby Ministries. As a mom and gammy, you can find her hanging out with her grandkids or in a coffee shop with a millennial mentee. Jayme, her husband John, and her family live in the Nashville area. She is the author or Face To Face: Discover How Mentoring Can Change Your Life and Side By Side: 8 Conversations To Build Your Confidence In Christ: An 8-Week Bible Study. Read more from Jayme at www.JaymeLeeHull.com.
Want more help with mentoring? Check out FLOURISH, a yearlong mentoring journey based on Scripture and created in partnership with Passion City Church.
I have tried mentoring to young people, but it is as if God says, no. Yet, it’s okay, I still will love and serve God.
Gail, developing these kinds of relationships can be hard and take time. Don’t take their no as a personal rejection. Often, the timing might not be right or the younger woman might not have felt a need for this type of relationship. Even so, we encourage you to get to know younger women and take an interest in their life. Let them know you are praying for them and then really pray for them.
Thank you for your heart for serving the Lord.
Yes, I think that you are right. I have been meditating on Philippians 4:8 all morning before reading your response and I am at peace with it. I will continue to seriously pray for young women and God’s timing and not my own. Thank you.
I love Jayme Hull’s book about mentoring! In an age where the world’s mantra states “women support women”, it is rarely seen in actuality. Her book gives practical, step by step guides on how to develop a meaningful mentoring relationship. It’s not weird. It’s not freaky-woo-woo. It’s not soaked in churchiness. It’s about being a Godly woman who wants to share her love for Jesus in a practical way with other young women so they can grow spiritually and emotionally. Thank you for sharing your passion for mentoring, Ms. Hull!
Hey Ange-la-la-la, thanks for your encouraging words and authentic comments. Let’s spread the word about mentoring together and watch women grow in their faith one heart at a time. Mentoring works and is a great way to support each other. Thanks again and keep sharing your God stories with the next generation.
Thank you,Jayme, for this article. It gets to the heart of the matter…which you do in every aspect of your life. Your passion for God and for people, especially Millennials, is amazing. I have known you for many years and your heart and your vision has not changed..For your faithfulness in mentoring, writing, speaking, DOING, I know that one day, in the [hopefully] far future, you will hear these words: “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have fought a good fight and have finished the race well” Until that day I pray that more churches become aware of the necessity for a mentoring program.
Thanks, Jeannie for your kind and encouraging words. I’m praying with you for more churches to step out and begin mentoring the younger generations. We need to walk in obedience to the Lord and pass on the legacy of faith. Blessings!
My little church in TN is an older congregation who realizes they need to do something or there won’t be a church. This is a great way to tap into the wisdom and gifts already there and to bring younger people in. A terrific way to unite the generations.
I totally agree, Cheri! Mentoring is a blessing for the older generation as they pour into the younger people. I’m praying for the Holy Spirit to ignite the hearts of the people in the church to pass on their God stories to the Millennials. Blessings!
Thank you for this article, Jayme! There is a great need for all of us have meaningful, faith-based relationships and it is especially wonderful when it crosses generations. Godly wisdom drawn over time during life’s joys and challenges can be passed along as both friendship and faith strengthen. Your books brought the great benefits of mentoring to my attention. I thoroughly enjoyed them and often use them as references. I encourage others to read them!
I will be praying for churches to develop a mentoring ministry to help facilitate this in our community and beyond. I have forwarded this article to my church to encourage this needed program!
Sarah, thank you for sharing your encouraging words. I pray others will be inspired by your comments and reach out to their church ministry. What a win-win for all generations when we begin mentoring and investing in the next generation for the Kingdom. Be Blessed.
Mentoring is life. It is so vitally important, I think of it as important as my daily cup of coffee. I couldn’t survive the day without the encouragement, prayers and talks with my mentors! Doing life with someone who has “been there, done that” is so helpful.
Thanks for sharing, Brittanny. I love your comment about doing life together with someone who has “been there, done that!” Yes! That’s perfect. May you be blessed and encouraged as you continue to meet with your mentors. Be blessed.
This is so encouraging, Jayme! I’ve seen such RICH blessing in my life from both being poured into and pouring out with roles of being a mentee and a mentor. You’ve inspired me to keep making myself available to actively receive wisdom as a mentee from my relationships with mentors and also to pay that gift forward in those I invest what God’s given me to share with others behind and beside me. Your thorough article here brings really great, practical tips for how to get the process started and keep it going. We are investing in the Kingdom when we are investing in mentorships. What a beautiful way to make disciples in an intimate, personal way with other believers. Thanks for sharing this!
Emily, you are such an inspiring leader for the Millennial generation. I see the handprint of the Lord in everything you do. I’m so thankful for your testimony on the power of a mentoring relationship. Keep shining for the Lord!