A note from Kelly King: In today’s article, Kaye has me at the word “sauce.” Maybe it’s because my husband has a passion for a good sauce, but I was also intrigued at what Kaye’s secret is to ministering in the messy. I won’t give it away—but it’s a great secret.
My husband is a Texan. For this reason he takes his barbecue sauce very seriously. In fact, his step-dad had a weekend catering business called “Tim’s Texas Pride,” and what made his smoked meats so popular was his “secret sauce.” Yes, I have the recipe, and no, it is not for sale! If you are a foodie, you too know the value of a good sauce. Italian grandmothers have been handing down the recipe to their “secret sauce” for generations. While you may not have an Italian grandmother, you might have been to Chick-fil-A, and let’s be honest, the chicken nuggets and fries are simply carriers for the sauce!
In years of ministry to hurting women (and ministry in general) I have discovered that there is a secret sauce. Because it is Valentine’s Day you probably think I’m going to say love. Love would be a great answer! God is love. 1 Corinthians 13 is our clarion call that without love everything else is empty. Jesus said it in John 13:34 (NIV): “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” This command is repeated throughout Scripture. Love would indeed make a delicious secret sauce in ministry. In fact, let’s agree now that without love everything else is less than.
I have observed something else (driven by love of course), and these two simple words are the secret sauce in ministry to hurting women. These two words are: relational generosity. I have met people who are generous with their finances or generous with their time and talent. But the ones who have ministered to me most in my own seasons of pain have been those who have been generous in relationship. Instead of saying, “I’ll pray for you,” they have come to me, listened, and prayed for me in a hands-on kind of way. They have visited me, sat in silence with me, cried with me, done laundry for me, and have gone to the store for me. The ones who have ministered to me in my pain have modeled relational generosity because ministry to hurting women requires us to go the extra mile. Relational generosity goes the extra mile.
How have others extended relational generosity to you in your own life or season of pain? As a ministry leader, is your team known for their relational generosity? If not, what are some ways it can be developed? Consider sharing personal experiences or examples of how it has been extended in times of crisis during your next team meeting. Make a list of what has been of most value, and put those into practice.
Our relational generosity is the secret sauce, but as I said at the start, it is driven by love.
Something I ask the Lord for with regularity is that He would enlarge my heart’s capacity to love Him and others. Sounds like a fit prayer for Valentine’s Day, doesn’t it? Lord, help us to love You and others well today and every day, in Jesus’ name!
Kaye Hurta has a Masters Degree in counseling from Liberty University and is a crisis counselor for Women’s Events through Lifeway Christian Resources. Whether speaking, singing, or listening, Kaye’s passion is to help others find intimacy with Christ and soul transformation through the living pages of His Word. Kaye met and married her husband Chris in Austin, Texas in 1987. They have two daughters through the miracle of adoption, Madison and Cami. Kaye is also a contributing author for the Lifeway resource, Women Reaching Women in Crisis.
