Everything Minus Love Equals Nothing

This article was written by Bob Lepine and published in Bob’s book Love Like You Mean It.

This “more excellent way” of love that the Apostle Paul describes for us in 1 Corinthians 13 is revolutionary, not just for marriage, but for all of life.  It’s at the center of how we are to function as God’s children. 

That’s what these verses tell us.  God, in Christ, pours His love into us.  He loves us with an everlasting, steadfast, and enduring love.  And as the recipients of His love, we are to be a conduit of His love to each other. 

In other words, God loves us not simply for our own benefit, but so that as we are filled up with His love for us, we can pour out His love to one another.

Paul begins his description of this “more excellent way” of love in 1 Corinthians 13 by listing a number of abilities or activities that we would commonly associate with spiritually mature people. The picture he paints for us in the first three verses of 1 Corinthians 13 is a picture of people who would be recognized in any era as being spiritual standouts—a cut above everyone else.  He peppers his prose with exaggeration and hyperbole to drive home his point.

And then he delivers the knockout blow. 

A person who loves others with self-sacrificing agape love, Paul writes, is more faithfully following Jesus than someone who is exercising his or her spiritual gifts absent of agape love.

Here’s the formula Paul is proposing: Extraordinary giftedness – Agape love = Nothing. 

Let that sink in for a minute. 

Paul says you can do everything right in life, in marriage, in seeking to serve God, and if there is no agape love at the center of it all, you have nothing. You don’t have something “less than.”  You have nothing. You have exactly zero. 

What that means for marriage is clear.  You can be a responsible, charming, attractive, fun-loving successful, intelligent, respected individual, admired and esteemed by everyone.  You can be, by all standards, an ideal spouse.  But if your marriage is not fueled by a strong and durable commitment to sacrificially love your mate, it’s not a Christian marriage.  It’s a façade.

Phil Ryken says we need to keep in mind that “no one will hear the gospel from the life of a loveless Christian.  People just hear ‘bong, bong, bong, clang, clang, clang.’ And no one will see the gospel in the life of a loveless marriage.

Are you gifted and using your gifts in your marriage, but without love?  Paul says what you’re doing amounts to nothing.

Do you have knowledge and understanding of scripture, but lack love?  Paul says your knowledge is worth nothing.

Do you have great faith, trusting and obeying God, but no love?  Your faith is worthless.  It’s nothing.

You starting to see a pattern here?

But Paul doesn’t stop there.  He goes so far as to say that not every act of self-sacrifice or self-denial is a demonstration of agape love.

Do you think it’s possible for someone to give away all he or she has out of self-interest?  Is it possible that the motivation for self-denial can actually be self-serving? Or to put a finer point on it, is it possible to have a self-centered motivation for putting the interests of your spouse ahead of your own interests? 

In 1997, TV mogul Ted Turner announced that he was giving a gift of $1 billion to the United Nations to support humanitarian concerns.  His gift was detailed in an article entitled “Ted Turner:  The First Man of Philanthropy.”  Here is in part what it said:

“He has a philanthropic soul and has always been an incredibly generous benefactor. His most astounding single grant was $1 billion to form the United Nations Foundation which works in concert with the United Nations, to serve global humanitarian needs through verbal, non-violent resolutions.” 

The article that praises Turner as a man with a philanthropic soul can be found online at Ted Turner.com.

I don’t know Ted Turner’s heart.  And I am not his judge.  But as this online article indicates, it’s possible to give away a lot of money with at least some of the motivation being that everyone knows what a generous guy you are.  At the very least, there is a smidgen of self-interest mixed in with Ted Turner’s philanthropy. 

Some people give away lots of money to ease their conscience.  Others give away lots of money because they think a life of poverty will please God. The Apostle Paul says if you give away all you have and you are motivated by something other than love, here is what you have earned for yourself from God: Nothing.

The most radical extent to which Paul takes this argument is that even those who are willingly martyred for their faith may have wrong motives.  Martyrdom was a present reality for the Christians to whom Paul was writing this letter.  And the Apostle wanted to make sure that none of his readers would embrace the false idea that martyrdom for your faith is a sure ticket to heaven.

So, here’s the picture Paul paints.  If you are someone who is gifted, eloquent, bold, full of faith, full of understanding and insight, generous, and committed to the extent that you are ready to give your life for your faith, we might assume you are a solid, committed follower of Jesus. But without love, everything else is N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

Love Like You Mean It gives husbands and wives a biblical understanding of what real love looks like in marriage by unpacking the ten attributes of genuine love listed in 1 Corinthians 13.

1. Ryken, Philip Graham. Loving the Way Jesus Loves (p. 21). Crossway. Kindle Edition.

2.  https://www.tedturner.com/2012/09/the-first-man-of-philanthropy-ted-turner/